When I first started this blog, it was to share the stories and the journey that God was taking me on in the orphan care world. I never imagined that four years of college and a year of what some call "adulting" would change everything.
When I look back on my life 5 years ago, the dreams seemed so vivid-so crazy. All throughout college, I prayed that God would use me in big ways for His kingdom-no matter what that might mean, or where that might take me.
That prayer resulted in many moments of pure obedience and trust for me. Including: applying for a job in an orphanage in China, applying for and internship 8-10hrs from everything I knew, getting turned down by both said job and said internship causing me to change plans yet again, deciding to stay in Jackson, and many more hard "yes" moments.
But it was in each of those moments that I clearly heard God whisper, "Just do this one thing. Just give me your yes." With every single time that I was obedient and laid my yes before Him, He was there doing what He does best-working. He closed many doors, and opened others, but He never once left me.
It was no surprise that recently He asked me to put my yes on the table yet again. You see, I have always had a love for blogging, connecting, sharing stories, laughing, + sharing my journey with others along the way. I have met many incredible women through blogging + I firmly believe that we were created for community.
As this season has been marked with much waiting, worry, + chaos, God has continued to put people + opportunities in my path that have caused me to cling to Him more. There have been many prayerful moments + many mornings, afternoons, and nights spent listening to Hillsong's album Empires (If you haven't listened to it, you should. It has been the cry of my heart this summer.).
In the midst of everything swirling around in my life, I kept coming back to my blog. But each time, I closed my computer at a lost for words. I hadn't posted anything in the past seven months, so I kept thinking- "What could God possibly want me to say?"
I also had no clue why God would continue bringing me back to a blog that didn't seem to be going anywhere, or even doing "big things for His kingdom." This prayer has continuously been the cry of my heart, but my everyday mundane seemed much less than being used in "big ways". I found myself tired, frustrated, + wondering what was next.
It wasn't until last night that I sat praying for God to use me in big way where I am. Life definitely didn't look like I had ever dreamed it would at this point in my life. As I continued to sit in the silence attempting to listen, I was reminded of my blog once again. Then I was reminded of all of the times in my life when I thought that I was going one way and God had other plans. He reminded me of all of the moments He asked me to just trust Him. All of the moments He asked me to simply be obedient.
And, in that moment (just like all of the others before) I heard him whisper-"Just put your yes on the table. You want to do big things for my kingdom? Just start here."
So even though life may be completely different than what I ever pictured for this season, I find myself putting my yes at His feet, yet again. Even though starting to blog again may seem like a "small" way to be used to me, God has the potential to move in mighty ways. I just have to start here.
Friends, we must pray big prayers. We must be obedient in the small things and the big things. He will use every single one of those moments for His glory if we simply put our yes before Him. I have a friend who is a great reminder to me of the blessings that God pours out from our obedience. He had promised God at one point in his life that he would use his gifts + talents to write a song. On Thursday, I will be posting his story of obedience and how God has blessed him through the process.
So, don't for a second get to thinking that your life is too small to be used in big ways for His kingdom. Start praying big prayers and ask God to use you in mighty ways, and when He asks you to put your yes on the table too-just start there. Just be obedient.