Most days I don't feel qualified or even equiped for this journey. You see, my life is "perfect" by no means. In fact, I don't even believe that perfect even exist outside of Jesus.
I bet if I were to ask you if you ever felt like less than enough, you would each have an instance. You may each have a different story of insecurity or anxiety, but more than likely there has been a moment in your life where you have felt far from perfect-and less than ENOUGH.
...so this is for you friend. For the one who feels like they're in the trenches today. Maybe you didn't get that job you were hoping for and that little voice is telling you that you're NOT ENOUGH. Maybe you didn't get accepted into that school you applied to. NOT ENOUGH. Maybe-like me-you are in a time of waiting + at this moment it feels like the hardest, most impossible thing imaginable. NOT ENOUGH.
We all have a different reason why we question our ability, our beauty, and even worse-our worth. You're on the battlefield of all that lies ahead, and all you hear the world screaming is YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH.
I get it friend. I really do. I am a total "perfectionist." If something seems to be done less than 110%, I often start over. Did I mention I'm a bit OCD?
And this...Farmhouse Faith-it isn't an easy journey. I struggle with grammar, punctuation, and the right words to use most days. It makes my brain hurt thinking about how unperfect it is + the fact that it's here for everyone to see. God has asked me to put some of the most unperfect parts of my life out in the open by sharing this blog, and some days I don't feel like it's even read or shared. I don't like my body. I often resent the fact that I am still single and long to start a family. I forget to feed my turtle sometimes. I love to sing but don't feel adequate against so many amazing voices....the list goes on + no matter how hard I try, I will never be perfect. And that's okay, because Jesus never asked me (us) to be perfect. That's right, He never said you have to do it all right-all the time. He simply asks us to be more like Him. And when we are striving to be more like Him, we are more than ENOUGH.
I heard someone explain it like this once...It's like we are looking at a painting from only inches away. On this side of Heaven-the picture is blurred, but we think we have it figured out. Nothing looks perfect, and often times we don't feel like enough or that we can make the journey ahead. However, we are only seeing a portion of the painting from that distance. When we see it from God's distance, we find that it's a much bigger picture and it makes alot more sense.
So maybe that's where you are today. He has closed yet another door, you feel far from perfect-less than ENOUGH, + your're standing really close to this painting of your life trying to figure out every detail.
Can I tell you this today, friend?
Turn around and run.
Run hard + run fast.
Run into the arms of the one who created you.
Be still + know He is faithful-He is good. He is extravagant. And in His extravagant and perfect love, you need not be perfect because you are far more than ENOUGH.
His love is wild + free. When He does what only He can do-it will change what you see. Maybe it will help you see a little clearer + open your eyes a little wider because the painting is alot bigger from where He stands.
So invite Him into the moments that you feel less than enough-because when He closes those doors He isn't just telling you no, He is protecting you and reminding you that He sees the whole painting.